Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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