So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
