they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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