then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
