He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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