omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
