we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
