Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
