Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just want to make out with him forever
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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