Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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