and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
