I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
