Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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