Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
