I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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