my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
