And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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