If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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