I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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