he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
