So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
