sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize