It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
