I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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