Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
