I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
