i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
