There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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