I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You took a bar mat shot.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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