Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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