I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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