She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize