HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
