I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize