Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
