seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
