He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
