yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize