I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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