I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
