try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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