Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize