the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
