My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize