Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
