I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
