im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
