Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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