Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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