The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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