She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
