I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
