I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
