is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
