Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This is the prime rib incident all over again
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Come on in and take your pants off
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