well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
