SEEEEXXX PLEASE
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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