I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
