You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
