he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
