I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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