The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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