The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My life is pants optional.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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