Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
