Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
