Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No subtext here. People are naked.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
